remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
