Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
