I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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