I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
