If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
