glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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