apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
