dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
