i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we're making bets on your personal life
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
