Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
