and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
