i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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