I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
