If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
two words: eviction party
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
