I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
