she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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