ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Randomize
