hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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