at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
