i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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