I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
