I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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