I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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