hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
