i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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