some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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