Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
