there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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