Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
