Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
