I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
