in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize