Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
