there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
