she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
