hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
