I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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