The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
