Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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