i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
