its not stalking. its research.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
