South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
