Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
