so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
