you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
