names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
