i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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