I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
