i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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