She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
