btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
