so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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