I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
